Kitchen Catechism: Words of Wisdom

Raise your children well.

"If you don't raise your children well nothing else you do in life will really matter." This is something Jacquelyn Kennedy said and it really resonates with me. However, I'm very hesitant writing a commentary on it even though I think it's true and important.

That's probably because I've already raised five children. I know I've made mistakes along the way and I'm sure I've made mistakes I'm not even aware of. Knowing this makes me feel vulnerable in that I could appear to be setting myself up as some sort of shining example or expert authority on "child rearing". Still, if I can pass on something that in any way lends to support the next generation, I'm going to take the leap and run some ideas past you that I hope will be of help.

I would start by raising the question, "What accounts for the ability to raise children well?" Of greatest importance, I think, is a commitment from the day they are born to it being the number one priority in your life. Success in the commercial world, self fulfillment or even growth in your spiritual life should all be integrated toward what is best for your children. No matter how hard, difficult or trying the 'times' you must keep your 'eye on the ball' determined your children will turn out to be solid adults who leave a positive mark on the human race.

Always keep in mind you don't know how long your time with them will be. (Jesus told the Apostles, "No one knows when that day and hour will come….the Father alone knows." Mt. 24:36) This makes it important that you start them on their road to self-sufficiency as soon as possible and in all areas of their lives - teaching children to dress, groom themselves, acquire learning/study skills, socially interact, financial aptness and above all spiritual awareness. This sounds like a gigantic task and still I'm going to add another dimension - you need to do it all with a sense of humor. Yes! It has to be fun.

Many times, I would have felt like such a fool if anyone heard me telling the silly little stories like why they needed to wash their hands. We talked about the bad germs that were always trying to defeat the good germs and we needed the soap for ammunition to slay them and then rinse them under the faucet and send them down the drain, through the sewer and out to the ocean. Today, my grown children remind me of some of my other 'techniques' and we have a little laugh at what is an inside family joke. Just, always be sure if there's no basis in fact to what you're telling them that they know it's just a game and that imagination and creativity make things fun and interesting.

Spiritual awareness - as mentioned before - supersedes every other principle. Guiding children to having a Christ centered life is really the most important thing a parent can give them. After all it involves their eternal future - forever and ever and ever. I like the idea the nuns stressed all those years ago when I was in Catholic school; "A child was a gift from God to their parents and the parents were obligated to raise them in such a way that they would return to God when they died."

This Commentary now brings me to do something else I really don't like to do and that is to criticize the Catholic Church. I guess that's because I strongly support almost everything the true Church has done since the day it was founded by Jesus Christ but I think the Church has been remiss on its support of parents with young children. The Protestant Churches, at least here in the United States, have provided many programs to help families with young children and I have seen Catholic parents taking advantage of these programs and then not returning to the Catholic Church. This circumstance has instilled in me a deep desire to do everything I can to help young parents and their children and so it remains high on my prayer list - the one place where I can have an effect.

Benedict XVI, however, offers hope that things could change from an address he gave May 30th, to the Italian Bishops Conference. He was referring, probably, to older youth who would attend the up-coming 'World Youth Day' but I like to think he would extend these thoughts to even our little ones in the cradle.

Some quotes taken from his address:

"…young people must feel loved by the Church, loved specifically by us, bishops and priests."

They are "the hope of the Church".

"…. they need to be helped to grow and mature in the faith" … "This is the first service they must receive from the Church, and especially from us bishops and from our priests."

"many of them are unable to understand and accept immediately all the teaching of the Church, but precisely for this reason it is important to awaken in them the intention to believe with the Church, and to have the confidence that this Church, animated and guided by the Spirit, is the true subject of faith, and that entering in it, we enter and participate in the communion of the faith."

"In this way, they will be able to experience in the Church the friendship and love that the Lord has for them. They will understand that in Christ truth coincides with love, and they will learn in turn to love the Lord and to have confidence in his body, which is the Church."

History shows us many examples parents can use for inspiration as they work through what sometimes are dull days and hectic nights. One, especially meaningful to us today, is Pope John Paul II's father Karol Wojtyla senior. At the death of his wife, when Karol junior was eight, he became a single parent. His whole existence was spent in seeing that his son was well raised. Being an exceptionally holy man he stressed the importance of the spiritual while still providing for sports and the social as well as intellectual life. His was a monumental achievement especially since his circumstances were so dire, they were under the occupation of the Nazis and his life ended when the future Pope was only twenty. What a beautiful gift he left to this world, his son, who impacted history like very few people ever have.

Closing this Commentary I must stress the most important thing of all - love. Understand the tremendous unconditional love God has for you and then pass on this same love to your children. That's why I like infant baptism. Love makes a parent want to give the best of everything to their child and baptizing them into God's family, though it's intangible, is still the best gift you can bestow on them.

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"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

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