Kitchen Catechism: Featured Articles


by Lois Donahue

Having taken you on such a lengthy visit with the Apostles, my hope is that you have not only come to know them a little better but realize the extremely important and demanding role for which Jesus selected and trained them. Their role was to accept, safeguard and spread the truths that He had taught them. This they certainly did throughout their lifetimes ever conscious that they were responsible for a 'church in the making'...a Church needed to guarantee that God's message, given in love and revealed in full before their deaths, would not be distorted and would be passed along throughout the world and for all time - from generation to generation to generation.

...a Church which would be identified by an unmatched combination of four unique 'marks' inseparably linked---a Church that would be 'one', 'holy', 'catholic' and 'apostolic'. Would be one (with one Faith, one Baptism, one Head and the same Sacrifice and Sacraments)---would be holy (because its founder is Holy and it would teach "a holy doctrine as a means of holiness for all"---would be catholic (meaning universal) (because it would teach all people, of all nations and would continue to do so through all ages)---would be apostolic (in that it would hold "the traditions and doctrines of the Apostles and derive Her orders and missions from them".) So it was meant to be and so our Catholic Church is. ...a Church which would not be made up of only the successors of the Apostles who would be answerable for fulfilling the role they inherited. OH NO! Our loving God is a risk-taker, willing to allow "His" message-bearing Church to be greatly dependent for its worldly sustenance and vitality on generation after generation of humans He permits to be self-willed. In other words, each one of us, in our own way, our own time, our own place and with our own God-given talents, must prayerfully learn from those who came before us and share with those who follow.

So, folks, it looks like we've got our work cut out for us -- but don't ever be discouraged -- you know what they say about success in the workplace "it's all in who you know". Well, think about it -- we are not only loved by and family-related to the founder, the owner and the spiritual CEO but, after the past several months, we can say we know twelve powerful and important men in high places.


And now, since we have so long been saturated with things 'serious' about the Apostles, let me share with you something that hopefully strikes a 'lighter' note concerning these men --


TO: Jesus, Son of Joseph Woodcrafter Carpenter Shop Nazareth

FROM: Jordan Management Consultants Jerusalem

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational-aptitude consultant.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. Following is our individualized analysis --

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no leadership qualities. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, seem to place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. Thaddeus-Jude, although apparently good-intentioned, is definitely an introvert and therefore might better function in a position other than one of leadership. We feel it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, has definite radical leanings. Philip, although a very practical thinker, shows himself to be rather slow to understand basic goals essential to company management. Simon seems unable or unwilling to speak out which could be a detriment in a leadership role. Considering Bartholomew-Nathanael's early record of rash judgment based solely on a person's place of residence, we feel that such lack of thoughtful discernment would jeopardize his managerial competency.

As to the eleven listed above, our recommendation is that you continue searching for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind, and has contacts in high places. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man.

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely yours, Jordan Management Consultants

Hope you enjoyed -- (Please note that the above, in part at least, originally appeared in both the "Anglican Digest" and later in the "Catholic Digest".

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"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

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